Author's Notes: This was supposed to be a drabbly little thing to torture Tuti, and instead it turned into some monstrous behemoth XD Takes place during the flight from Haneda to Hokkaido, when Tuti went on tour for his play, Yakamashii Hitobito, in which he costarred with the Kashimashi sisters, a trio of sisters who're famous actresses now (Shouji Utae [age 79], Shouji Terue [age 76], Shouji Hanae [age 73]). Pretty much nothing to do with the Anniversary, but I felt inspired nonetheless :D |
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we've just about reached our cruising altitude, so it's safe to turn on your portable electronic devices, and the cabin crew will be around shortly to serve you a small snack, as well as to offer any beverages you might request. Our flight time will be 1 hour and 34 minutes, at which point we'll begin our descent into New Chitose Airport, in the greater Sapporo area. We thank you for flying with us today, and wish you a safe rest of your journey." There was a short crackle, and the loudspeakers fell silent. Tuti tried to relax against his seat, distracting himself with the clouds whipping by outside as their plane ascended above the cloudline, but it was no use. He was stuck, crammed into a big metal can held together with bolts and prayers, hurtling through the sky at who-knew-how-many hundreds of kilometers an hour, for the next hour and a half. All that, however, would've been bearable. He was scared of heights, but this far up, what could he really do? It was different dangling 10 meters in the air over a stage filled with your costars, but this...well, he could handle this, so long as they didn't hit any turbulence. It was his seatmate. "God I hope they bring the drinks soon..." Utae-san breathed, leaning out of her seat into the aisle looking for the stewardess the captain had promised would be around. "Don't understand why we didn't just take a train." "Quit whining," Hanae-san groused from across the aisle, just far enough away where her sister couldn't reach over and slap her. The woman's eyes were covered with a sleeping mask, and it was clear she was trying to take advantage of their short time in the air. "Would you rather be way up in the sky, or buried underneath the ocean floor with a mountain of water on top of you waiting to rush in and drown you." "And just how many accidents have there been involving trains compared with airplanes? How many trains have gotten into accidents in the Seikan Tunnel, hmm?" Tuti shifted in his seat away from the bickering Kashimashi sisters and propped the small, pathetic excuse for a pillow between his head and the window. With the shade drawn, it was a comfortable dimness inside the cabin, and he could almost imagine he was still at home, sprawled out on his futon with Takashi poking his shoulder to try and rouse him as delicately as possible... "Tsuchiya-kun, Tsuchiya-kun are you listening?" Except the poking wasn't from his boyfriend, and it wasn't delicate, and it definitely wasn't welcome. "Utae-san," Tuti started, trying to make himself sound as pathetic as possible, "I had a really late night last night, and I've been packing for this trip all morning, I just want to get a little rest while I can." She waved him off. "Oh come on, we haven't seen each other in months, we have to catch up! There'll be plenty of time after we get to the hotel and get settled in for you to nap--what were you up late for anyways?" She leaned in close, eyebrows going up, and added in a stage whisper, "Nothing...boyfriend related, I hope?" Tuti frowned into the pillow, eyes popping open, and he groaned as he pushed himself upright. He'd bet his unopened bottle of a '63 port that Utae-san more than hoped it was "boyfriend related". Eighty-years-old or not, she was still a pervy chick. "Uchiage. One of my groupmates was in a show last night, I just went to cheer him on." She looked him up and down for a moment, apparently unsure of whether or not he was pulling her leg and had actually engaged in three straight rounds of mind-blowing sex before collapsing, spent, onto his mattress (nevermind the fact that Takashi was still filming from morning to night and was hardly in any fit state for that). She eventually brushed it off, though, and sank back into her chair, adjusting it so that should could lean backwards a bit. "You know, I used to date a former Prime Minister." Oh god, he was getting no sleep on this flight. If Utae-san heard his whimper of defeat, she cheerfully ignored it. "Uno Sousuke-san..." She trailed off, giggling girlishly. Tuti frowned turning his head towards her. "...Wasn't he the one who got kicked out for having an affair with a geisha?" She just continued to giggle, nodding. "We only dated for a few months, just after the war and long before he ever got into politics, but...he was one kinky bastard." She turned her head to face Tuti more now, and dropped her voice. "Learned some of my best moves on my knees in front of his--" "What're you two whispering about?" Terue-san leaned forward from behind their seats, and Tuti sank down further. She glared at her elder sister, but Utae-san only flipped her the bird. "Go back to bothering Satou-san. Tsuchiya-kun and I were having a conversation," she returned shortly, and Terue-san eventually relented, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms grumpily. Once assured they would be left in peace, Utae-san turned back to Tuti. "So anyways, I was wondering--maybe you'd like some advice?" Tuti started, pushing himself closer to the window and fighting wincing at the pain in his back from the way the armrest was digging into him. "Ad--advice? On what?" If she invited him into the bathroom between first-class and coach to show him how to really give a good blow job, he was going to jump out the emergency hatch. Seriously. Either that or start swimming back to Honshuu as soon as they touched down in Hokkaido. "Tsuchiya-kun. I'm almost 80. What can't I give you advice on?" He pondered this. "...Really. I'm good." "No relationship troubles?" "Even if I were having any, do you really think my going on tour around the country with your show for a month would be doing much to help it?" She pursed her lips and crossed her arms, looking very much like his mother. Or grandmother. "Don't try and blame us for your own jackassery." "Hey--I'm not a jackass!" he snapped, then jumped when he felt someone sharply kick the back of his seat. "Sorry, Satou-san," he grumbled in apology, now conscious how shrill his voice had gotten. He turned his attention back to Utae-san, who seemed to be thoroughly enjoying no longer being the loud, annoying one. "We're not having any problems." "That doesn't mean you shouldn't try and improve things." "They do say, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'--" "Yes, well 'they' don't have Nagayama-kun for a boyfriend, now do they?" He flushed, suddenly interested in the tray table in front of him, and reached out to mess with the clasp to lower it. It was really unsettling when a woman old enough to have raised him twice over started talking about his boyfriend and their relationship and how to give blow jobs. Really really unsettling. Like that time his mother sent him a box full of cucumbers, corn, and carrots when Takashi had to go to Guam. Before he'd even told her they were dating. "You gonna at least talk to him on the road?" "I have a cell-phone, you know. I'm not that insensitive." "Well I wouldn't put it past you." He frowned; Utae-san had spent maybe a grand total of a few weeks with him, and suddenly she knew everything about him. "If I were that much of an ass, he'd have given up on me by now." "That just proves how long-suffering he is," she reasoned, reaching for the in-flight magazine in the seat pocket in front of her. She idly flipped through it. "I've only had to spend this much time alone with you and I already want to throw you out of the emergency hatch." "Me?!" he hissed, wary of receiving another sharp kick from Satou-san. "You started this! I just wanted to sleep all the way to Sapporo--" She waved a hand at him, slinking down in her seat and leaning the chair backwards a bit, ignoring Terue-san's annoyed, "Nee-san." Flipping forward a few more pages in her magazine, she sighed. "Tsuchiya-kun, let me tell you a secret about men." "A secret," he returned flatly, wondering how it had escaped the crazy old biddy that he was, in fact, not a woman. "Shut up and listen." When Tuti actually paid attention to her this time, she spared him a glance. "Men are jealous little hypocritical bastards." "Uh huh." "You are and you know it, you hypocritical little bastard. You want your partner to pay attention to you every minute you're together, and ten times more when you're apart, but can't be assed to actual put forth a little after-care on your own part, like sending flowers or--or a nice text message even." She held up a finger. "And before you argue with any of that I want you to have a good long think." "I..." He swallowed. "Well, Takashi doesn't like that kind of stuff anyways." He didn't. His apartment was too small and cluttered to have some huge bouquet sitting around in--and the things died in a matter of days anyways, after which he'd have to take it downstairs and down to the corner for trash pickup. And Tuti was pretty damn confident that Takashi would rather get a text about some vulgar-but-nonetheless-hilarious joke Moriyama-san made at *pnish* rehearsals than to have Tuti text something mushy like, 'I miss the way you say my name in bed', despite Tuti's feelings on the subject. Utae-san rolled up the magazine and rapped him soundly on his prominent forehead. "Good for nothing. I'm not even sure teaching you how to give a good blowjob could save your relationship." Tuti flinched and rubbed his forehead, annoyed, and opened his mouth to first retort that his blowjobs were just fine thank you very much, but instead defended the attack on their relationship. "What do you mean 'save our relationship'? We're fine, Utae-san." He frowned to himself; what the hell was he doing even having this conversation? Utae-san leaned towards him, propped her arm on the arm rest, in a semblance of further privacy. "Tsuchiya-kun. You're cute. But you're dumb as bricks." "I am not--" "Oh shush, you are cute." "Utae-san--" "What makes you think just 'cause he's a guy he doesn't want to hear you show some balls and actually be romantic?" She raised an eyebrow. "Everyone appreciates being shown that they're still desireable." Tuti was pretty sure sleeping with Takashi was a good indicator he still liked him. "And no, sleeping with him isn't good enough to get that point across." Utae-san really creeped him out sometimes. "Utae-san...seriously. We're fine. We've been together long enough we know how to read each other. He knows what I expect from him, and...I know what he expects of me." "Just because he expects you to be a non-romantic clod doesn't mean you have to meet those expectations." "Hey! I'm...well, I can be romantic." "Uh huh, like when?" Tuti was starting to suspect this was all just an attempt on her part to get him to entertain her with tales of their wild nights for the duration of the trip. "Like...I dunno, we went to Disney Land this one time..." "...What are you, teenagers?" "Well--we--we went to...we had a movie night a few months back. And I made us curry." "Hold me steady, I'm falling for you, Tsuchiya-kun." "We're not chicks," Tuti bristled, offended that apparently they just weren't mushy enough for her liking. They weren't Moriyama-san and Daiki-chan, for fuck's sake. "Besides, we hardly have time for anything more than a movie or dinner together, between fan events and being carted off around the country with crazy old hags who want to harrass us about our love lives." She narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Sure, I'd like to be able to...do stuff, do more. Hell, we update our blogs more often than we text or even talk to each other these days." He rubbed the tension building up in his neck. "But it's life. We deal with it. And when we catch a break, we catch a break. That's just how it is." Utae-san pursed her lips. "...You're calling him as soon as we land." "...Excuse me?" "From the tarmac." He wanted to argue that calling up Takashi when he was likely in the middle of a very fun uchiage was only going to get him laughed at. "And say what exactly?" "That you are...sorry for being a bad boyfriend. And..." She paused in thought, then her eyes lit up. "Ooh--that you want to talk to him later after you get settled in this evening at the hotel." She wiggled her eyebrows. "You can just put the long-distance call on our bill, if you want." Tuti whimpered, and Satou-san kicked the seat from behind him again, grousing, "Sure as hell better not be doing that when I'm sleeping in the bed across the room." Tuti wound up putting off the phone call until their group had collected around the luggage carousel, all waiting for their bags to drop onto the belt and make their way around to the owners. Utae-san was eyeing him like a hawk, and Tuti frowned, but dutifully stepped away from the group, cell phone in hand. The phone beeped a few times before picking up a dial tone, and he allowed himself the vain hope Takashi would already be too trashed (it was barely 9 PM...) or that whatever karaoke room the guys had invaded would be too loud for him to notice the call. "Moshi moooooshi~" came the answering voice, quite sedated from the alcohol, Tuti conjectured. "Oi oi, you're not getting drunk without me, are you?" He could hear Takashi fumbling with the phone, and could make out what sounded like the opening strains to the latest Remioromen song in the background. "Shh! Shut up, it's Tuti!" he heard, and a few voices resounded in response. Speaking more directly into the receiver now, Takashi added, "Tacchan says hi. Don't say hi back; he'll piss himself, and I don't feel like cleaning up." "Hai hai," he agreed amicably, and caught Utae-san motioning for him to keep the conversation going. "So, the event went all right?" "Mmmhmmm," was the response, and Tuti could hear the fatigue in his voice, pretty sure that Takashi had only gone out with their friends after the Bleach event because, well, he was Takashi. "Everyone seemed really excited about the next show. And it was fun seeing everyone for the first time in a while--we even had a cake for Kou-chan. Send him a birthday text when you get a chance." There was a beat of silence. "Something wrong?" "No, why?" Takashi chuckled. "Nothing. Just not really like you. You even said you'd be so busy travelling you'd barely have time to update your blog, let alone call me for phone sex." "Ahhhahaha. This is--not--" "Oh thank god." Takashi actually sounded genuinely relieved, the way the words rushed out over the receiver. "Eiki just gave me the worst look ever..." "God what a prude." "I know, right?" Tuti laughed loudly on the other end, not missin the smile in Takashi's voice. "Your flight go okay?" "Mmm, yeah. Utae-san wouldn't stop talking my ear off, though. I'm waiting on my bag right now." "You and her are perfect for each other, you oughta just realize it." "Come on, you'd miss me if she and I ran off together, admit it." "I would," Takashi returned easily, voice a bit softer now, almost missed over the background noise of the karaoke booth. "I miss you now, you know." Tuti's mouth went dry, and he swallowed hard. Takashi must have been really drunk for him to be saying stuff like that. "You sure can say that easily." "Yeah, well." A pause, and Tuti expected him to ask something like, Don't you miss me? but it didn't come. "It's boring without you." He could hear the annoyed protests from the others in the room, but Takashi was evidently ignoring them. "I wish I could've gone with you." Tuti laughed nervously, waving off Utae-san's concern. "You're definitely drunk." "We should go somewhere. Like, together. For a weekend or something." Tuti admitted he wouldn't be opposed to that; but if it were that easy to find a weekend they both weren't busy, they probably would've done it before. "Tamaoki-san would never let us, you know." "We could always run away and not tell anyone where we're going." Another pause. "Don't you want to?" Be alone with Takashi for longer than an hour or so before one or the other fell asleep from an exhausting day? Get away from their friends and family and all things familiar and just be able to focus on each other? Sneak off and act half their age rather than twice it? Hell yeah. He could hear someone--Eiki? Or maybe Naoya--in the background hounding Takashi to get off the phone. "How long are you going to be out with the guys?" he asked. "I dunno..." Takashi hedged. "I'm really tired, but...well I haven't seen some of them in a while." "You live in the same city, you know. You can see each other whenever." "Tuti, we sleep in the same bed and we hardly see each other." Point. "Okay, true." He sighed. "...And, I do." "Do what?" "Want to sneak off with you." He paused, and added, "Just to piss of Tamaoki-san, you know." "Yeah, I'd never dream of mistaking it for any romantic gesture." "You know me, I'm not the romantic type." He was smiling now, in spite of himself, and Utae-san had turned away to talk with their coordinator while a few of his costars spotted their bags spilling onto the conveyor belt. He lowered his voice, speaking more into his shirt collar. "Wait up for me tonight?" "Mmm, how late? I'm really tired..." "Just call me when you get home, then." "Hmm, so I am getting phone sex..." "Would you even be sober and awake enough to appreciate it?" "If you made it good enough, sure. If I fall asleep, know you'll have to try harder next time." "I'll keep that in mind," Tuti promised, voice deep and rough; in the middle of the airport waiting on his bag was definitely not the best place to get a hard-on. He spotted a duffel bag spill onto the beltway. "Shit--I gotta go. My bag's here." "I'll be home in a couple of hours--I'll cut out early." "...Right. Just make sure you don't bring home any stragglers." "And you make sure none of those pervy old ladies I see you hang out with all the time are skulking outside your door." Across the hall, Utae-san sneezed. |
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